I found out,Time to go

I wasn't ready to be feeling like this.

It was Lans birthday. She never had a birthday cake before. I made sure it was a surprise to her, not only was that a surprise to her but I think I have a bigger surprise I have to deal with after this.

After Lans birthday party, I ran upstairs and took the test I never really wanted to take until I was ready to take. The wait took forever. I was so hoping that it wasn't what I think it would say,

And there is was,the brightest pink plus mark I ever seen.  I so wasn't ready for this at all. I had so much things to do and so little time to do it now. How can I ever forgive myself in trusting a guy.

As I cried and said I don't know what to do,my boyfriend that I was mad at,whisper and told me that he planned this and that he knows what to do. At that moment,I didn't know to hit him or stay in shock.

Lan wanted to get some driving in. She told me she needs to run to the store and get something put on disk for the computer to pull up some picture. I asked her what they were, and she said she doesn't know yet but she thinks she has a clue,the other day she was going downstairs to the boys room and over heard my boyfriend talk to the help in a weird way and heard him ask were his camera was. So Lan being how she is she wanted to know what was all the fighting was about.

 As we get back into the house,Lan handed me a gift, she told me to open it in private,but for now to hide it.

Lan was super happy about the new baby coming. She thought she would make a great big sister. I was so happy that she is happy with it all.

 Later that day I seen that Triston was on the computer getting very upset.like he couldn't find something. I acted like I didn't see him on there. This was the first time I think he was ever on the computer. I am glad the help told me that he has been acting very weird lately. And it reminded me of the weird phone calls I was getting,,and now they have stopped,all the emails,voicemails,they all stopped. At this point I wanted to see what was going on.

As soon as he left, I thought he would be gone for a few,I plugged in what Lan have gave me. I seen pictures that scared me and made me so mad. I just sat there and cried. How can he do this? What do I do now?

( "As I went into my Xs house I wanted her back. Her mom and dad told her not to ever see me again.")

(I shot him,I can't believe I did it. I love her so much that I had to do something.)

(Now I have to get rid of the mom,She will tell what I did and never get to see my love again.)

(I will kill for the one that I love. I will never go with out her.)

(now to get rid of them, I have to take these pictures. I can plant them on someone else. Diary this is what I must do for her.)

 As I was closing out of the computer,I didn't see him standing behind me. He asked me what was wrong. In my mind I couldn't tell him I new or acted like anything was wrong. I said the first thing that came to my mind."Its just hormones and I was looking up were I can buy cute baby cloths."

"O Cherry,I wish you not to worry about these things,I told you that I would take care of you, I already have cloths and such picked out for you and the baby so you don't have to be stressed. I was also planning a trip just the two of us,we can let the house help take care of the kids so you and I go away for a few days."

 He leaned in to kiss me, I couldn't pull back,I don't want him to think that there was something wrong. I am still in shock over everything.

 He told me that I will look very cute all big,and that he will rub my feet and back when ever I want. He told me not to worry about my sister and brothers,he will send them to someone for a while.

 I walked away and outside. He followed me. "I can't just leave them to someone like that. They are mine to take care of. You new this before you got here."

Cherry, they are getting in the way and they need to have there own place to run around in. "Triston,the house is big enough for more kids even. There is two more empty rooms,and I still have to find the others."

I ran to my room,I can't believe he was telling me this. I was a fool to let him back in my life.
"Cherry, I am warning you,the kids need to go. I want to raise my kid alone,not with other kids around that isn't even mine." You don't understand all the things that I have done for you.

 But Triston, I can't get rid of them,Someone took our mom and dad and I am all they have left.
"Cherry, there will be no talk of your mom and dad around here, they wanted us apart,you remember that don't you?"

 Triston your hurting me,let go!  I think you need to leave.

Cherry,I am never leaving you. You have to know that I will always be around you. You are caring my child. We will be together forever now.

 As Triston walked out of the room, I was still on the floor crying my eyes. Thinking of a way there can be an answer to all this.

 Just then I heard what sounded like someone falling. I ran out of the room and looked at the bottom of the stairs. There he was. Just laying there. I looked around and no one was there.  I don't know to call the cops or see if he is ok. But what ever the answer is I want him gone.

I have him

 I found out the reason why I couldn't find my ex is because he just so happen to move next door, I seen him out getting mail. Very odd.  I ran over there full of excitement. I just had to tell him everything that has been going over the house and with me. Just like old times. I didn't even want to think we was broke up.

 As he invited me in , I told him that I think there is something wrong and would like for him to just watch the house when he can. I told him that I am working on getting all my brothers and sisters back.

 He gave me a hug and told me that things will be ok and that he misses me and he will help all that he can. He is glad that I came over to tell him. He thought I would stay mad at him forever..

 He kissed me. The kiss was so nice and sweet, I forgot how his nice lips touching mine gave me chills.  I felt the hunger to just take him right there.

  I stopped. I had to pull away. I didn't want to rush things. After all he cheated on me,.So have to take things slow. I am suppose to be mad at him right now.

  I went to sit on the couch to look at this book he had full of pictures. Then a guy that I thought looked very familiar to me,showed up. They talked very quite like to were I couldn't hear them.

  Meanwhile Lan was at a friends house, She was telling her what has been going on at the house and how everyone is getting very scared and that if anything was to ever happen,there is a tree house,that's were she will be at.

  I ended up leaving. I found that Atus was on the phone, like a weird threatening call, So I ended up call my now again boyfriend. He wasn't answering. How odd.

  The next day he got my voicemail came straight over. I explained to him what the call was about and how it sounded and it scared my brother. I told him that in a couple of days my other brother from Egypt will be here. I found him on my trip over there. 

  He just grabbed me!! The hug was so great that I forgot all my worries.  He told me not to worry he will take care of it all.

  The passion we had between each other has never left. He new that I was wanting him bad. Didn't know cause it was a long time or that fact I want to be in his arms for comfort.

 We ended up in my room tripping over each other.  Was we taken this to fast? But it feels so right.

 We got up off the floor cause he needed to tell me something. His look in his eyes had my heart beating so fast. I thought he was going to leave.  He told me he wanted to move in and stay and help with all my brothers and sister.  It felt so great knowing I have help now.

 

  As he kissed me, it felt like a load off my shoulders.

  He promised he would never leave me again.

  I wanted to make sure he never leave me and give him something he never had from me before. I want to make it perfect.

  I think he wanted to go a little bit faster then what I did. But if he said this was perfect then I guess this is the way a man thinks.

  Later that night Lan and Atuse had a badge rewards at the school. I wasn't going to let them down and not be there. I am so happy that they got this far in school. 

  We all went to eat after. I was eating with Lan and she told me that something was very odd and that she can feel something is about to happen. My boyfriend was standing behind her and she said she will tell me later.

  As soon as Atuse went in to get something to eat, Lan got up and told me that I need to go with her to talk about something very important.

  As soon as I did, my boyfriends friend showed up again. Its like he was following us.

  I asked him what does he want with my family.  He did not give an answer. I was telling the kids to hurry up and get home. I didn't know what to think about any of this. But I don't need the kids scared.

  Later that night I pulled out everything from under the sink. I counted everything and the days I have left to start my monthly. Lan told me he did something on purpose. I was thinking did she new what we did? Did she over hear someone say something?

 I walk to my dresser. I seen an unopened condom still on the dresser.  Was we not thinking or was we in a hurry? But I heard him say he has one. If this fails and with all the stress and a stalker, this isn't the good time to have a baby.